So there I was taking a shower like any other normal Monday evening. As I was applying shampoo, I notice this little bastard in the corner of the bathroom. It was at least three feet away from where I was standing.
“Okay,” I thought, “if I leave him alone, he’ll leave me alone.”
I close my eyes while rinsing off the shampoo when I notice the spider is now a foot from my face. I backed up a little, but continued my shower.
Then the little fucker charged at me. Like a little bitch, I squealed and screamed, “OH FUCK.”
Fuck. This. Shit. I immediately ran out of the shower. Luckily, I was able to save myself some embarrassment and grabbed a towel.
It was on. My instinct was to grab every single can, bottle, and container that had a spray nozzle.
At first, I used my extra hold hairspray. I thought this did the trick as the spider was unable to move. It appeared to be dead. But victory was far from reach. The sneaky fucker played dead and went for another charge.
This time I used a combination of house hold cleaner and cologne. The aroma could not mask the pure adrenaline and hostility. It attempted to take another charge, but immediately fell to the ground; I had lost track of my enemy
I thought it was planning a sneak attack, but the fact that I didn’t know where it was anymore scared the shit out of me. So I ran to my room. I was still damp from the shower, so I left a trail of water in the hallway…
I finally grew a pair and decided to finish the job. Luckily I found the fucker, defeated. Believing it could conquer the Ervin, the spider took it’s last breath of aerosol spray.
LOL
ahahahahaha niceee
